Permanent Pain
by PeaceLoveandWar67
Summary: "Oh, I remember you standing there, trying to apologize, I'm not going to take some fake excuses, and you know why..." ONE-SHOT.
1. Chapter 1

So, I'm not going to say any names, but this happened to a friend of mine. She liked this guy, but he literally broke her heart when he started going out with her best friend. What happens in this story is NOTHING compared to what she did. She wouldn't even do some of the stuff, even if she had too!

1) Let's pretend that Clare, Imogen, and Eli are all in the same grade.

2) Clare's a majopr bitch in this story!

WARNING: TEARS AND MAJOR OOC WILL BE INVOLVED

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Degrassi.

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><p><em><strong>*Flashback*<strong>_

_**It was just an ordinary day at Degrassi. Clare and Imogen were walking down the halls talking about the latest gossip, until Clare suddenly stopped.**_

_**"Look, Imo. There's your crush!" Clare said while pointing. Imogen looked at what she was pointing at, and she saw Eli Goldsworthy walking towards them.**_

_**Eli Goldsworthy. The boy that she currently has a crush on. The guy she became friends with in the eigth grade. At the time, Eli had a girlfriend named Julia. Imogen didn't like him THAT much, but after Julia's sudden death in tenth grade, she's been by his side ever since. And every moment she spent with him, her feelings for him grew.**_

_**Tenth grade was also where Imogen met Clare. Imogen was looking at Eli during lunch, when all of a sudden, Clare went up to her and caught her staring at him. Imogen confessed everything, and they instantly clicked. They've been insperable for two years now.**_

_**Anyways, back to reality.**_

_**"Clare, I told you. Eli and I are JUST friends," Imogen lied.**_

_**"Right..." Clare said as she walked away. Imogen was about to follow her, but a voice called her.**_

_**"Hey, Imogen!" she heard that familiar, deep voice say.**_

_**She turned around and saw Eli standing there.**_

_**"Ummm h-hey, E-Eli..." she said nervously.**_

_**"Nervous, eh?" he asked teasingly said with a smirk. "Well, it's totally ok if you stare at my awesome sexiness!"**_

_**"Shut up!" she exclaimed. "I don't think you're THAT sexy!"**_

_**"But you think that I AM sexy?"**_

_**"Smug much?" she retorted playfully.**_

_Ok, Imogen. Maybe it's time to tell him, __**she thought.**_

_**"Hey, Eli. I need to tell you something..." Imogen started.**_

_**"If you're going to tell me that you like me, then I already know," Eli said with a smile.**_

_How did he find out?_

_**"Did Clare tell you?" she asked.**_

_**"Well yeah... BUT I see the way you look at me. So it was kinda obvious..."**_

_**"Oh gosh! This is so embarassing!" Imogen started ranting on and on. Eli hushed her by tucking her hair behind her ear. She looked up at him and stared in his eyes. Eli smirked and whispered in her ear, "Don't worry... I like you too."**_

_**She looked at him, and he intertwined their fingers. They have no idea what direction they were about to take, but it could change their lives.**_

_***End of Flashback***_

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><p>Well, apparently, Imogen was wrong.<p>

About six weeks after he literally admitted that he knew about her crush on him, her world suddenly came crashing down.

Yesterday, she was going to meet him at the Dot and ask him out.

But she did not expect the unexpected.

She found out from her other friend, Adam, that Eli is going out with another girl.

And that other girl happened to be Clare.

Imogen felt like she was going to faint. She canceled her plans to meet Eli at the Dot. Instead, she went straight home, not daring to face her so-called best friend and the guy she USED to have a crush on. Her parents weren't home, so she went to the bathroom, grabbed the razor from the medicine cabinent, and sat on the edge of the bathtub.

She felt so many emotions. Betrayal. Hurt. Anger. Heartbroken.

And with every emotion she felt, she slid the razor down her wrist, followed by a trail of blood.

The pain was unbearable. The blood made her smile. Right there, she was doing the job right.

_She had to get the pain out..._

Her phone started ringing on the counter. She got up, grabbed some toilet paper, and wiped the blood off. She flushed the bloody toliet paper down the toilet and took her phone off the counter. The screen flashed Adam's name, and she picked up.

"Hello?" Imogen said with a cracked voice.

"Imogen?" That wasn't Adam's voice.

_That was Eli's..._

Imogen clicked the end button and chucked the phone towards the opposite wall. It shattered into a million pieces, and all Imogen can do was cry.

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><p><em>A few weeks later...<em>

"Imogen, sweetie, are you ok? You haven't been coming out of you room in a few weeks," her mother said on the other side of the door.

Imogen was curled up in her bed, hugging her pillow tightly. "I'm fine, mom."

"Well, your father and I are heading out for a little bit. Call us if you need anything."

Imogen didn't bother to respond. She heard her mother's footsteps walking away from the door. At the same time, her phone started dinging, signaling that she was getting a text. She grabbed her **BACKUP **phone off the nightstand next to her and open the message, only to see that it was from Clare.

_Imogen? Look, I'm sorry. But I couldn't help it. I kinda liked Eli, too. I hope you'll understand. And if not... well..._

_-Clare_

What the hell.

UNDERSTAND.

_Clare, you knew that I liked Eli. FOR A VERY LONG TIME. And now, I hear that my own best friend betrayed me! You're no longer my best friend. It's ok. You can have Eli. But don't even try to talk to me EVER again. Our friendship is gone, and it'll take lots of time and sacrifices to get it back._

_-Imogen_

She turned her phone and slammed it back onto the nightstand. Imogen was just laying there for a while, until the doorbell rang. She groaned and lazily got up. She walked out of her bedroom and went downstairs and over to the door. She wiped the tears off of her face and opened it.

_And just when the tears stopped flowing down her face._

"What do you want?" She asked harshly to the guy standing on her porch at the moment.

"Adam was right... I'm such a jerk," Eli said with guilt.

"You should be," she said venomously. "You're going out with my betraying friend, after you literally find out about my feelings for you. Do you realize how much pain came to me? I've spent the past few weeks finding a way to skip school. Plus, I've been doing this."

Imogen pulled up her left sleeve, only to reveal the many scars that appeared on her arm. Eli looked between her and the arm, running his fingers gently down the scars. She flinched when his fingers touch some one of the sore scars.

"You've been cutting yourself?" Eli asked with small tears in his eyes.

She nodded.

"I did this?"

Imogen yanked her arm away from his touch. "Goodbye, Eli."

She slammed the doorin his face. When she was sure he was gone, she started going crazy. She trashed the house, screamed, and cried.

Her parents came home to see a completely messy living room, and a bleeding and teary Imogen in the living room. Mr. Moreno rushed over to the phone, while her mother rushed over to Imogen and hugged her. Imogen cried hard onto her mother's shoulder.

"Don't worry, sweetie. Everything's going to be ok."

The ambulance came by and took Imogen to the hospital. Her parents decided to follow her there.

In the distance, there stood a boy. A boy who felt so guilty about what he did to the girl that used to like him.

All he could do was cry...

And hope that she wouldn't die like his other love of his life did.

**Cuz I can't take it anymore**

**All you're doing is hurting me more**

**Make the permanent pain go away**

**Oh please go away...**

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><p>Reviews?<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

So I saw that some of you guys were confused. I decided to fix that problem and make a new chapter! So now this fanfic is a two-shot!

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi

Warning: OOC WILL BE INVOLVED

Read on!

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><p>It's been a few days since the incident at home. Imogen was lying on the hospital bed all alone. No one was in her room at the moment. Her parents just left to get some clothes. Adam would occasionally come and surprise her. The nurse would come in and check up with her.<p>

The gauze on her arm has been bothering her. She couldn't scratch her arm, even if it itches. The sling was getting on her nerves. She couldn't move her arm a lot.

As Imogen lay on the hospital bed, she started thinking about what had happened the past few weeks. Her former best friend betraying her. Her former crush breaking her heart. It all brought tears in her eyes.

Imogen felt so many emotions. The one that would probably fit her was broken.

_**Knock knock**_

She turned her head towards the door and saw Adam standing there. She smiled weakly at him, happy that her other friend came. He held up one finger, letting her know to wait one minute. Imogen was confused for a moment, but Adam turned slightly and gestured someone to them.

_That's when the world suddenly stopped._

A figure walked towards Adam and stood next to him. All Imogen could do was try not to cry.

_Eli came..._

She looked back and forth between Adam and Eli. A few moments later, she glared at Adam angrily.

"OUT OF ALL OF THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, YOU HAD TO BRING **HIM**?" Imogen tried to yell, but it came out so quietly due to her cracked voice.

"You two need to talk," Adam said sternly. He gave Eli a slight pushed and walked off.

She didn't even bother looking at him. When he looks at her, she averted her glaze towards the window. A sigh was made from Eli, followed by footsteps.

He sat down in the chair next to her bed. Imogen tried to hold back the tears. He reached to grab her good hand; however, once she felt it, she yanked it away.

"What do you want?" Imogen asked, not bothering to turn around.

"Look... I am EXTREMELY sorry, Imogen," Eli said.

"It's too late to apologize, Eli. And even if I forgave you, it's going to take some time for our friendship to reform."

Small tears began to flow down her cheek. Eli heard her sniffle, and he couldn't help but look down and wipe away the small droplets that were about to come out of his eyes.

"Why? Why would you go out with my best friend after you find out my feelings for you?" Imogen asked with a broken voice. "Do you really know how much that hurts? These past few days, I kept thinking about the one question that has been bothering me. WHY?"

"Clare was the one that asked me out."

She turned around and faced him with fury. "And you said YES?"

Eli didn't even bother to respond.

"Go. Just leave."

"Imogen-"

"JUST LEAVE, ELI! I don't want you here."

Eli didn't leave. Imogen was crying hard at this point. He leaned forward and wiped the tears off of her face, but she wouldn't let him.

"DON'T. TOUCH. ME."

The heart monitor started beating rapidly. Imogen was about to enter a breakdown. The nurses and her doctor came rushing in and tried to calm her down. The doctor saw Eli just standing there, so he walked up to him and said, "Son, you're going to have to visit her later."

"But-" Eli started, but the doctor started escorting him to the door. He looked back, only to see the nurses huddling around Imogen.

He couldn't help but push the doctor's arm off of him and stormed off.

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><p><em>A week later...<em>

The door opened to the Morenos' residence. Imogen was being carried in by Mrs. Moreno, while Mr. Moreno held the door for them. The doctor told the parents that Imogen needs to be placed under suicide watch, and that he recommends her to take therapy. They weren't happy with this decision, but Imogen said that it may be for the sake of her safety and health.

Mrs. Moreno took her to her room and laid her down on the bed. Imogen instantly fell asleep, and with a sigh, her mother left the room, letting her sleep in peace.

Two hours later, the doorbell rang. Mr. Moreno went over to get the door, and there stood Eli with flowers in his hand, smiling slightly.

"Yes, Eli. What can I do for you?" Mr. Moreno asked.

"Hello, Mr. Moreno. May I see Imogen please?" Eli asked politely.

"I'm not sure if I can let you. She's sleeping right now."

"Please? I need to see her."

Mr. Moreno looked at Eli oddly before moving to the side. "Just don't wake her up. We wouldn't want her screaming and thinking you're a stranger."

"Of course I won't, sir."

Eli walked in and went up the stairs. He turned and slowly proceeded into Imogen's room.

What Eli didn't know was that Imogen was awake the whole time. She heard the entire conversation downstairs. She was supposed to feel anger, because Eli showed up, and hurt, because memories about him kept replaying in her head. However, none of that came to her. Instead, curiosity was all she felt.

She heard the door slowly open, and she quickly shut her eyes and pretended to be asleep. Footsteps were heard and seemed to increase as he walked closer.

Eli set the flowers on her desk and walked over to the side of Imogen's bed. He grabbed her desk chair and sat down next to her bed. He took her free hand that was dangling and intertwined their fingers.

_The same way he did it when he revealed everything…_

"Imogen," Eli started. "I am super sorry for what I did. I am a terrible fiend. A friend is one that never tries to hurt the other, especially if the other friend has feelings for them… I didn't even know what I was thinking."

Imogen stayed asleep and continued listening to what Eli was saying.

"Here's the thing… Clare was the one that asked me out. She confronted me and said that she was just using you to get to me. She DID actually say this. I guess she was in desperate need of a boyfriend."

Eli did a weak, fake chuckle. Imogen pretended to show no emotion, but on the inside, she wanted to wake and basically march her way to Clare's house and beat the shit out of her.

"I didn't like her. I can tell you that," Eli continued. "In my mind, I wanted to say no. I was about to, but then she kissed me straight directly on the lips. When she pulled away, I couldn't think straight for a minute and accidentally said yes. I had no idea what had happened, until you came up to me and canceled our plans to hang out at the Dot. Then it hit me. I was now dating Clare. I went to Adam and asked him if you knew, but it was no use. He told me that you found out and that you probably wanted to have nothing to do with me ever again."

_That little bitch… _Imogen thought in her mind.

"I needed to talk to you, but you haven't been showing up at school. That's when I couldn't wait any longer. I went to you house and saw you all broken. After showing me the scars, I wanted to punch myself at what I did. And after you slammed the door in my face, I started walking off. But after I passed about three houses, I heard screaming. I then realized that the screaming came from your house. I didn't bother going back. Instead, I called your parents and told them that you were having a breakdown."

_He called my parents…?_

"Seeing you getting put in that ambulance really brought me pain… I thought that I was going to lose you like I lost Julia. I didn't want my NOW love of my life to died. So what I'm trying to say, Imogen… is that I love you, and I'm sorry for what I did."

He kissed the top of her hand before leaning up and kissed her cheek. He finally got up and walked out the door.

Once Imogen heard her bedroom door close, she opened her eyes and sat up. She started thinking about what he said, until she saw the flowers on her desk. She got up and walked over to her desk. With gentle care, she picked up the flowers. The fragrance from it made her think.

She sat the flowers down and bolted out of her room. She ran downstairs and headed for the door.

"Imogen, where are you going?" her dad asked.

"I thought you were sleeping!" her mom exclaimed.

Imogen just ignored them and darted out of the house. She saw Eli turning the corner, so she yelled, "ELI!"

He heard someone call his name, so he turned around, only to see Imogen running up to him.

Once Imogen reached him, she jumped onto him and gave him a huge hug.

Eli had no idea what was going on, but he wrapped his arms around her waist and smelled her scent.

Moments later, Imogen pulled away and told him, "I love you too."

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><p>Gahh! I'm not sure if this was good enough! I hate writer's block!<p>

Reviews?


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